The Mysterious Disappearance of Brenda Kerber

The cold case I stumbled upon while reporting on a cult

The original missing persons poster generated by the White Plains PD in 1989.caption...

I’ve heard it said that making a documentary is like traveling along a highway. From time to time you need to stop by the side of the road to tell some tangential story that you found along the way. The key is to stop briefly, maybe to get some snacks or to fill up on gas. Don’t stay the night. But there are times when you’re traveling that highway and along the way you stumble, upon an even bigger story. Something you can’t look away from. That’s how I felt about Brenda Kerber.

In 2021 at the height of the pandemic, I was hard at work on a documentary podcast series that would like to become I am Rama. I was investigating the life and tragic death of a cult leader named Frederick Lenz.

Lenz is a fascinating and tragic figure, with whom I had a personal connection. Before becoming followers of Franklin Jones, my parents were followers of Lenz, who went by the name “Rama”. The podcast is a deep dive into Lenz — his life and death — which is how I first came to know Brenda.

Episode 7 of I Am Rama, “Brenda”, tells her story.

Brenda Kerber, went missing in September of 1989. Despite an exhaustive search, Kerber’s case went cold. Many questions remained, including her affiliation with Rama. Her parents released a sort of press release that excoriated Rama and the group…holding him accountable for her disappearance. It was titled “The Disappearance of Brenda Kerber”.

Our daughter Brenda was born in 1949 in Corvallis, Oregon, and had a normal life through grade school and high school. She was a very good student.

I’ve never seen a press release quite like it. The parents were clearly speaking directly to the public. This was not filtered through legal counsel or law enforcement. It’s chilling to read. It’s the play-by-play of a mother and father as they watch their daughter slip away from them.

After high school Brenda married Jim. She had her daughter, Shannon. After that marriage didn’t work out, Brenda married another man. With him she had her son, David. She bounced around to a couple of colleges during those early years of her kid’s life. She worked in an elementary school.

She began to have trouble with her marriage and when we inquired about why her marriage with Michael was in trouble, Brenda told us "lack of communication." About then she became enamored with a young minister, Tony Chester, and his "Church of Science" in Grants Pass, which included a good deal of meditation.

David told me that during this time, his mom would routinely take him to many different churches of different denominations.

But it was in Tony Chester that she found true spiritual inspiration. They became close. Intimate. But Tony’s ministry was leading the faithful to someone else. His source of spiritual inspiration.

Frederick Lenz…or “Rama”

Rama was one of a surge in charismatic gurus that cropped up in the US in the 1970s and 80s. Many presented themselves as accessible, even hip. Rama wore leather jackets and played in a rock band. He made expensive (albeit bizarre) music videos for which he hired playboy bunnies to perform in. His lectures intermingled pop culture references with that of centuries old buddhist ideas and doctrine. He was, in a word, “cool”. I became familiar with Rama because my parents, in fact, had been followers of his. Before they got involved with Franklin Jones, they had been disciples of Rama.

Kerber and Chester eventually packed their bags and made a plan to travel across the country to be nearer to Zen Master Rama in New York state. She gave her young son the choice to travel with her or to stay with his dad, even though they were not close. David told me even at that young age he could sense that he was a burden to his mother. So he stayed behind. Brenda signed over custody of her son to his dad.

He would never see his mom again, and her life would begin to unravel when she arrived in New York. In January of 1989 Brenda relocated to New York, and got a job at Orion Films.

Muscoot Reservoir, White Plains NY

According to followers of Lenz, she’d lost her job shortly after securing it and became increasingly preoccupied with trying to get close to Lenz. Her grip on reality was slipping, Tony Chester and others said. At one point, according to Chester, she claimed to be in a sexual relationship on another plane of existence with Frederick Lenz. She was depressed and struggling financially. At one point I was told that she approached Lenz with the desire to be closer to him and rebuked her advances. It’s unclear whether those advances were of a sexual nature.

September 28th, 1989 was the last time anyone reported seeing Brenda Kerber. This explains why the press release from Brenda’s parents a while later was so dire in tone. The note details the last interactions Brenda had with her parents, in the weeks leading up to her disappearance.

About September 5th we received a note from Brenda with this message: "After much thought - really - it seems in my best interest to take a long break from you - 6 months or so. I have explained the best I know how, what I am up to these days, but you don't seem to understand. Methinks you don't want to. I know. It wasn't what you had in mind. I appreciate all you do for the kids. They are very fortunate to have you as grandparents." This was the last correspondence we received from Brenda, and the only encouragement that she is alive and going under an assumed identification. Except for this note, one would have to assume she is either a homicide or suicide.

A number of controversies had been swirling around Lenz by the time Brenda Kerber disappeared, so it isn’t surprising that connections were made in the press and investigated by law enforcement around her connection to Fredrick Lenz, or Rama. The press release from her parents made it clear they believed Rama’s group to have contributed to her disappearance in some way.

To date we haven't heard one word. We had a detective in New York working on it for a while and he came up with a little bit about Dr. Lenz, but no clues to where Brenda might be. Dr. Lenz says he has never heard of her. His "lawyer" called later one night to tell us to call off our detective or they would take action. He was supposedly "harassing" Lenz. It was a young girl who wouldn't answer any questions that we asked her and we found out later that she hadn't passed her bar examination in New York and wasn't licensed at the time.

Reporters who kicked the tires on the connection between Lenz and Brenda were met with a flood of testimonials from followers and very formal legal notices. For the documentary, I’d obtained some of those documents. Rama had been represented at the time by Jonathan Lubel, a libel attorney who also represented Scientology. The individual who had received the testimonials had been so spooked by Rama and his counsel that even now, more than 30 years later, they wished to remain anonymous.

I believe you are the recipient of some sort of fabricated information and urge you to check your sources carefully the note read.

The testimonials largely painted Brenda as a troubled and unhinged woman who had become obsessed with Rama. Tony Chester provided lurid details of her sexual fantasies

She told me that she wanted to resume our physical relationship because by having sex with me she was really having sex with Dr. Lenz.

It’s striking to me how urgent and intense these testimonials are. They are almost violent in their intensity. There’s a tone to how they are presented to the reporters by Rama’s counsel. It’s reminiscent of the notes I received from followers after the podcast came out.

“The energy of your tabloid podcast is like thick shards of broken glass” one follower wrote to me. “Intended to harm and destroy.” Another exploded with a long and angry note that included multiple ALL CAPS declarations about my character, which I’ll allow you the joys of imagination to conjure up for yourself. “You are an immature child.” they wrote. “Your time growing up in a spiritual community had no real spiritual impact on your whatsoever. How sad.”

Many questions remain unanswered about Brenda’s disappearance, but there is no doubt that Rama’s followers wanted nothing to do with her the second it cast a shadow on their guru. And for 30 years? They didn’t have to worry about Brenda. She never resurfaced. Until right in the middle of reporting this series…a body was found.

On January 19th, 2021, a car was found in the Muscoot Reservoir in White Plains, NY. the car —and the body— was positively identified as belonging to Brenda Kerber. We obtained the police reports via a public records request. The medical examiner had ruled her death a suicide.

At this point it became clear that we needed to find the person closest to Brenda…Tony Chester.

While publicly members of Rama’s group vehemently denied any connection between Rama and Brenda’s death, they were quick to refer to Tony’s relationship to her. One follower even described him as creepy.

We did find Tony and he does talk to us for the podcast. Many questions remain unanswered for me about Brenda’s last days, but his story matches what is in the police report. She’d broken things off with him, but they’d remained close. She’d been on the way to meet him when she disappeared. He always looked over his shoulder in search of her. He said he’d loved her, and understood why he’d become the villain to her kids and parents.

I continue to investigate this case and hope we will find more clarity soon. Any updates will no doubt be shared on this newsletter first.

The part that gnaws at me is how obsessed she’d become with Rama, and how alone she must have felt when he shunned her advances. Charismatic gurus create a sort of forcefield around themselves. It is impenetrable if you aren’t invited and a brutal weapon if you find yourself suddenly on the wrong side of it. I believe that is where Brenda found herself. Then? She was alone. None of Rama’s followers would get near her…she was radioactive then. And whatever drove her to do what she did that day over 30 years ago? We may never have all the answers. But there’s no doubt there’s more to the story.